Sometimes a day on the job can seem to drag beyond what you thought was common decency. One thing I enjoy doing is checking my daily Groupon emails for the latest deals…or rather copy. I know that it’s probably saying something disturbing about our capitalistic society that my happiness derives from sales copy, but please hear me out here.
I’m working on an entry-level writer’s salary at the moment, thus “spare” cash is is a rare creature I’ve only read about in National Geographic magazines. Instead, I check up on each offer simply to read the pithy copy presented at the beginning of each deal. Some favorites include:
“According to a recent study, drivers who hone their skills on go-kart tracks are less likely to exhibit signs of road rage or crash into suspiciously parked trucks of watermelons.” – Groupon for K1 Speed Racing
“The world’s first day-spa owner invited clients to experience the healing powers of this here tar pit, which was bad news for the clientele but invaluable for modern-day archaeologists.” – Groupon for a rose facial
“Theater can explore the profoundest depths of the human condition, much like a submarine diving into a surging sea of carnival-goers.” – Groupon for a theater show
“When Pinocchio cried whale, everyone assumed he was up to old tricks until his nose became ominously static. Tell a whale of a tale that needs no embellishment with today’s Groupon.” – Groupon my friend purchased for whale watching
Oh yes, Groupon, how you make our mornings pop with a giggle or two.